The band needed a new idiot to hit a plank of wood vaguely in time to the music. 

That idiot turned out to be me. 

I live in a cupboard, in the dark. With an owl. 

In order to produce NOISE I use a Fender Precision with a Babicz bridge and EMG Geezer Butler pick ups through a Laney Nexus amp. I also use DR Black Beauty strings, because they are ace. 

The noise pleases me.